So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
