if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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