like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
