Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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