I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
they need to just BURY HIM!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
