i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
