Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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