meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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