its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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