we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
