Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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