is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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