She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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