I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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