it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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