that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
