Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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