I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
