so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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