I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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