Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
