Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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