Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
