yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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