SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
