There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
