I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
