woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
