im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
