You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
