We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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