spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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