i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
