garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
