In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish my penis had a tongue
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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