I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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