At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
