Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
