Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
