Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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