Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

(954): View more from Florida

Why wouldn't there be.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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(415): View more from California

i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.

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(207): View more from Maine

I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....

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(951): View more from California

So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?

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