I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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