capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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