so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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