Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
