i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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