you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
