doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
