Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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