I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
