But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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