1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
