Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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