ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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