i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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