Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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