Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
