I CAN MOONWALK!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
