i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
