this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
