Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
