i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
