nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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