Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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