if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
