You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
