is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
