You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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