$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
