god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
