wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
