i jhust puked up my retainher.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
