At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
