you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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